The Speech Rater
In consultation with a prominent rabbi who shall remain anonymous

We have created this speech rater to help you give a numeric value to the words of wisdom that sometimes fall from the bima.
All of the events except the last have happened during speeches in the shuls that the authors have attended.
(except the last, and even then, knowing where it was an who was speaking, it could have happened)

1/2 star Widespread snoring
starSomeone barfs during or immediately after the speech
star starOxgyen required
star star starWide spread fainting
star star star starRoom clearing fart
star star star star starSomeone dies during the speech
star star star star star star If it was a suicide

Laugh! It's the same on both sides of the lecturn!

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